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WELL, HERE WE GO

Massachusetts' Supreme Court has, predictably, overreached--this time overturning several thousand years of cultural heritage, tradition and law in formulating a new definition of marriage that is, essentially, without meaning. If its decision somehow becomes the law of the land, marriage as an institution with any legal standing or meaning will evaporate over the next few decades.

To be sure, people will still get married, but they will increasingly get married for reasons having little or nothing to do with the institution's purpose, which is to provide a stable context in which to usher in and civilize future generations. Yes, people do that now, but allowing men to marry each other and women to marry each other virtually guarantees yet more abuse of the institution, and therefore less meaning within it. And to be sure, we heterosexuals have done our part over the past several decades to undermine marriage, from no-fault divorce and all that. But the fact remained, until today, that marriage was meant to create families that were geared to socialize children and raise them into functioning members of society. Now, marriage's purpose will be...? Well, pretty much anything anyone wants it to be, but most likely some form of extracting benefits from state and employer. How romantic.

In the next few years, as the initial backlash gives way to the hard fact of meaningless marriage and the social confusion that will follow, religious conservatives (the demonized "Christian right," which takes it on the chin from more political angles more often than terrorists these days) will be marginalized or will swallow the adder and go along to get along. Our churches will come under attack from the Virginia Postrels of the world--intelligent people without principle or a sense of tradition, people who seldom set foot in an evangelical setting yet feel qualified to pontificate on our deficiencies, and who place style above all else. We will be forced, not requested, but forced one way or another, to either permit and then accept and then condone gay marriage, or we will be shut down. If we utter a peep in protest, we will be prosecuted as hate criminals. That's not possible today, but it is of a piece with general trends.

Or if persecution isn't the rule, then the church will probably lose its power to conduct marriages. It will all be in the name of fairness, naturally, and in the name of separation of church and state. Adam and Steve will petition their local Baptist congregation to allow them to marry in their building. The Baptists will refuse. Adam and Steve will sue, and the court will so rule that while it cannot force the Baptists to allow the ceremony to take place in their privately-held property, it can take away Baptists' function as marriage facilitators. Preachers and priests will lose the ability to pronounce anyone man and wife so that some government official can pronounce us all one big happy married conglomerate, with full health coverage for all.

I'm being facetious, but not by much. The fact is we're looking at the beginning of a pretty ugly turn: Either gays get what they want and then turn to demand still more, or they don't get what they want and marriage survives, battered but not broken by the experience. Either way, gay marriage opponents--who are not, by the way, all evangelical Christian righties--will look like the bad guys, proponents get to cast themselves in the role of tolerant advocate and gays themselves get to play the victim. The real victim will be marriage itself, and possibly future generations that will grow up under some truly non-nuclear family arrangements, but who cares about that? Abstractions mean little when feelings rule.

We will likely see the Massachusetts legislature knuckle under and pass laws officially recognizing gay marriage, or we will see the court force the legislature to do so. We will see gay couples fly up to Massachusetts to get married and then return to their homes in Alabama to see how far the Full Faith and Credit clause goes. Eventually the United States Supreme Court will pull another Roe, and we'll all be locked in yet another political feedback loop. And all of this to satisfy a minority of a minority against the wishes of the majority. Democracy these days seems to work in adverse proportions--the fewer numbers you have, the more likely you are to get your way, and the more numbers you have, the more likely you are to be marginalized. How else understand why America's 30 to 40 million evangelicals take so much abuse at the hands of the extreme ends of the political and moral spectrum? Fiscal conservatives and liberals may not agree on much, but they do see eye to eye on one thing--we evangelical Christians are the worst thing going.

Why, it was just last night I caught a snippet of political Rasputin Dick Morris opining on the future fortunes of the GOP. He said--and I'm not making this up--the Republicans could actually start to win elections if they dumped the Christian right. That's darn near a verbatim quote, but while I got the words close to right Morris gets the facts entirely wrong. Maybe he missed 1994, and 2000, and 2002 and isn't reading the numbers for 2004--all years in which the GOP either won or is likely to win, with its Christian base firmly intact. But in his wish to see us marginalized because he just doesn't like us, he'll lie, or bend the data, whatever. Chameleons like Morris just don't like people with principle, and say what you want about us, we Christian righties do espouse coherent principles. We don't always live up to them, but we do advocate them.

The gay marriage debate will exacerbate religious tensions further. If it ends with full sanction for gay marriage, it effectively tears the heart out of our cultural foundations. If it doesn't, well, expect more vitriol from all sides, continued legal challenges, more anger, far more heat in American politics at the expense of light. Whatever the outcome, it won't be pretty.

MUST-READS: Stanley Kurtz on the political implications of Goodridge, and Maggie Gallagher on the court's misreading of the purpose of marriage, among other things.

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Posted by B. Preston on November 18, 2003 5:31 PM
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“Our churches will come under attack from the Virginia Postrels of the world—intelligent people without principle or a sense of tradition, people who seldom set foot in an evangelical setting yet feel qualified to pontificate on our deficiencies, and who place style above all else.”

Thanks and amen. Steve den Beste did the same damn thing the other day. It never fails to amaze me how people readily profess atheisism and then claim enlightenment about a God they choose to deny even exists.

Idiots, all.

Posted by greg on November 18, 2003 5:53 PM

This is very disturbing, and yet expected. I would guess that the churches will invent a new term for the marriages that they perform (although homosexual churches will want to co-opt that, too.

I think passing a Marriage Amendment to the Constitution is very iffy. I see young people who wonder why it matters, all the time. The Homosexuals have effectively indoctrinated our public school children into acceptance of homosexual practices without their ever having to think about the reality of such practice, and what marriage really is.

Despite the growth of alternate News sources reflecting conservative people, we are losing the Culture War because our schools and major media have been so thoroughly corrupted. Even if TV network news dies, the TV shows and movies, magazines, advertising, and colleges still produce their disciples and indoctrinated masses.

When basic assumptions about social life, our cultural world view, is perverse but uncritically accepted, there is little that can be done short of revolution.

This won’t just rip the heart out of the institution of marriage; it will rip the sphincters of large numbers of people who have no idea of the sordid reality of the so-called gay lifestyle.

In the end, we may see the authority to conduct officially recognized marriages confined to government officials; this has long been the case in Europe. The churches will still be free to conduct marriages, but the government simply won’t recognize them, and vice versa. Fits right in with the blather about the “wall of separation”.

Posted by Wimbo on November 18, 2003 9:22 PM

I just have a simple question for anyone in a heterosexual marriage who chooses to answer it: Does the reality of homosexual marriage cheapen your own marriage?

I’m not exactly sure why this shocks me, there are openly gay bishops now. (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

Hell, why not alcoholic cardinals or pimp reverends… or maybe make Michael Jackson a priest.

Jimmy, you tire me. You really do. Our objections toward gay marriage aren’t so myopic as to only include what it will do to us in our own specific marriages. Its effect on my marriage will be exactly zero, at least for a very long time, m’kay. But unlike gay marriage proponents, we worry about the future of marriage as a viable institution. We worry about what kind of marriage will still exist when our children are of marrying age, and their children, and so on. Gay marriage re-defines marriage into something it isn’t and never has been. It will change the meaning of the institution—it has to, just in the very fact that it takes something that’s illegal today and makes it legal, thereby changing the institution. Marriage heretofore has been the foundational instrument by which our society is organized to perpetuate itself and its values. That has been injured gravely for some time, thanks to the disposable attitude so many heterosexuals have toward marriage, by easy divorce, etc. Allowing same-sex unions pretty much crushes what’s left, and takes it beyond its most central purpose—providing a framework within which to raise children—into a framework for the acquisition of benefits from the state and employer. That’s a redefinition no matter how you try and spin it off. When my son is of marrying age, it’s likely that there won’t be much in the way of morality attached to marriage. It will be mostly about economics, a truly Marxist institution.

As a Christian, Jimmy, what do you with the copious verses in which Paul puts homosexual relations out of bounds? How do you square them with your attitude? Do they not matter? Was Paul just out of touch, or have his teachings been superseded and someone failed to sends lots of us the memo? Have lots of Christians just decided to rip out whole sections of the New Testament? Please clarify your position vis a vis your faith—and please, spare me the admonitions that “Jesus was silent on it, therefore it’s okay.” Jesus was silent on lots of things—that’s not to be taken for license, especially if other canonical scriptures do in fact state unequivocally where Christians should stand. And Paul does, several times.

Posted by Bryan on November 18, 2003 10:04 PM

I too am troubled by the prospect of gay marriages, not what it will do to my own marriage, but what effect it will have on my society, what changes will result from this. In short, I’m not convinced that the change will be confined to the gay community.

Having said that, I do not believe that there would come a time when the government could have a say in whom a church could perform marriages for. As it stands, the Roman Catholic church can refuse to perform marriages for people on any number of reasons, such as a previous divorce, if one of the individuals is not Catholic and refuses to raise their children as Catholics, and probably some other reasons as well. But then, maybe these people don’t have a lobby as powerful as the gay lobby.

The simple answer to Huck’s simpleminded question is, it does cheapen marriage.

It’s the old Queen for a Day ratio show regurgitated as legal decree. On the show, the teller of the most moving sob story was rewarded with a mountain of unearned merchandise.

Here, four oh-so-caring judges have extended the legal benefits of thousands of years of learned, shared human responsibility between males, females and their offspring, to selfish pairs who die off cold in less than one generation.

Yeah, they’ll sing their love songs and suffer their sufferings and create exquisite art. But they could always do that, and did, no judges required. Yeah, a few will go out and adopt some unlucky kidlets, and argue out whose name they’ll bear, and dip more than one toe in the institution, but marriage it’s not.

No objection here to any pair of people forming a legal union to be as devoted and faithful and mutually responsible as they like. But call it something else - Hollywood will reach into the Romantic Love bin and find a name - until there have been a few hundred years (if it lasts so long) to compare the effects of this trumped-up decree with the male-female-offspring,repeat-ad-infinitum institution of marriage.

Posted by Insuffiently Sensitive on November 18, 2003 11:25 PM

Bryan - I do take the epistles of Paul seriously; and I have prayed about this only to come to the conclusion that, in my heart, I can’t agree with Paul on this front. So, I can’t square my position with Paul’s. In my faith, the revealed Word of God as interpreted by the Catholic Church and included in the official teachings of the faith is something I do not discard lightly. But my faith also teaches me that when one arrives at a prayerful and thoughtful conclusion about the morality of an issue, one must follow this path. To violate the conscience out of blind obedience is no less sinful. So I break with my Church on this point, which is painful; but it would be more painful for me not to break with the Church on this point.

I know too many wonderful gay couples who live the values of marriage much, much better than many straight couples; but they are denied the fulfillment and grace of this sacrament for no discernible and justifiable reason. The argument that gay marriage re-defines marriage into something it has never been just doesn’t wash with me. Marriage has been defined in many different ways throughout history, not all of which, thank God, still remain with us. The institution of marriage has changed in definition over the years, and, I think, has been the stronger for it. For example, the fact that marriage is now a process of free choice in our society grounded in love and not a forced arrangement for material gain or political alliance is a good change in the definition of marriage. The fact that there are no longer legal prohibitions against inter-racial marriage is a good re-definition of the institution.

Insufficiently Sensitive appears to be all for Civil Unions, but that we shouldn’t call it marriage. That’s fine; and I, too, believe there is grace in marriage that makes in more valuable and affirming of the spirituality and human dignity of people. But I just can’t see how making this grace available to more people who seek it out could do anything but good in the world.

I’m sorry that I tire you, Bryan. But until someone can convince me beyond mere conjecture and hypothetical speculation that gay marriage will produce a tangible bad for humanity - bad enough to warrant excluding gay couples from God’s grace obtained only through the sacrament of marriage, then I will continue to probe and challenge and ask such questions - not out of stubborness or malice, but simply out of a desire to reconcile my painful break with my Church’s teaching on the subject.

Man do you go on and on!

“they will increasingly get married for reasons having little or nothing to do with the institution’s purpose, which is to provide a stable context in which to usher in and civilize future generations.”

How romantic. “marriage was meant to create families that were geared to socialize children and raise them into functioning members of society.”

I married for love, and only for love,not for such lofty goals; and that’s really all that marriage is, a bond between two people who love each other. I had no intentions of ushering in and civilizing anyone. Frankly, we could do with a little less of that for a bit and let pop numbers stabilize.

Goodbye to the Old Ways, where chirches told us what to do and how to behave. Hello to meeting the divine direct, without any of the archetypal trappings.

bsti and Jimmy:

Even if you find gay marriage acceptable, you still must agree that allowing them changes the institution as a whole?

The last change of this magnitude came when divorce became “acceptable”, and even that pales in comparison.

And bsti, your reply of “I married for love, and only love,” is both egotistical and shortsighted. This debate isn’t about you, but about the institution in America as a whole. If all you cared about was love, why did you involve the church and the state at all?

In the end, we will most likely live to see the day where most states in the union recognize same sex marriage. Whether you’re in favor of it or not, there can be no doubt that this will not be the same institution our parents and grandparents were a part of.

Alex - I agree that it will change the institution of marriage in a major way … but I don’t think its impact will be like that of divorce. In my opinion, gay marriage will change the institution for the better and enhance the value of marriage.

Think about it. Divorce is about tearing down and breaking apart, literally, a marriage. Gay marriage is about inviting a new set of people to share in the values, grace, and benefits of union in marriage.

Jimmy,

I certainly agree that “marriage 2.0” will be a blessing for the GLBT community (did I forget a letter?). That is wholly different than being beneficial to the institution of marriage itself, as we know it today.

The net societal impact may even be positive; I have yet to come to a conclusion in my personal opinion on that.

What about non binary marriages? Or the marriage of first cousins? Each of these new upgrades of the marriage codes would have a positive impact on a certain segment of the population, but overall, it is doubtful either of those flavors would be helpful to society.

Gay marriage is on the borderline for me. My general belief is live-and-let-live, but I can certainly see how many people would find the use of the religious connotation of marriage depleted by the inclusion of same-sex unions

About marriage: its goal has never changed; its lures (ways to achieve that goal) have. Society’s objective was always to perpetuate itself in an orderly manner, by inducing people to create and raising children. The lure (what induced people to get married in the first place) was always one or more of these: the expectation of sexual satisfaction, of mutual emotional and physical support, and the prospect of an economic arrangement capable of providing the necessities of life. At many times and in many places the economic factor received far more consideration than the emotional ones we’re so hung up on today. So, how does gay marriage fit into this? It doesn’t. If during WWII employers had not started providing non-cash benefits to married people we might never have faced the question. In any case, barring some perverted arrangements, gay couples cannot produce children, so society has no real interest in placating this latest demand from the loudmouths. More important, common sense (and research findings) confirm that being brought up in a stable heterosexual home is by far the best environment for children, and the one least likely to lead them into a perverted lifestyle. For perverted it is; AIDS, hepatitis, gay bowel syndrome, drug abuse, a greater tendency to engage in criminal behavior… A simple concern for society’s health is what ought to motivate these deconstructionist judges, not their view of an ideal world that will prove to be as destructive as every other utopia.

Posted by Wimbo on November 19, 2003 8:45 PM

How come nobody is asking why marriage is the government’s business (state or fed) in the first place?

Marriage, at its core, is just another word for free association, the opinions and details of which can vary widely by person. Any legal status given to marriage should be in the form of a contract signed between the two, three, etc. parties. Get the gov’t out of marriage (and hence, religion) and you’ll find the entire argument goes away.

Oh, and as for the taxes and legal benefits, why do we put up with them anyway?

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